Tag Archives: The Fiefdom


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What a glorious time of the year Spring is in CHASING BOOK SALES LAND.

The resident ducks have had babies and the kangaroos are coming in to the gardens looking for the new shoots. They have the belief—and I don’t disabuse them of the idea—that I cause the rain to fall that provides them with the new grass that grows just outside the palace doors.

Ducks Kangaroo

The lavender is buckling under the weight of the Fiefdom’s bee population and the Consort and I are already salivating in anticipation of coating the honey on the lovely bread our bakery provides.

The rugosa roses are heavy with flowers, so along with everything else we’re expecting a bumper crop of hips to be turned into jam. The Trigintipetala roses are also heavy with blooms, meaning the Fiefdom’s stock of rose oil will be well and truly replenished this season. Nothing like rose oil to soothe the unquiet breasts of the Fiefdom’s sometimes unruly neighbors.

Lavender Rugosa roses
Trigintipetala roses

In the orchard our apple blossoms have transformed into little new fruits. Come autumn they will be large, red, crunchy and very sweet to bite into straight from the tree or savoured in the cook’s famous pies and strudel. The cherries, too, are abundant this year and will grace the Fiefdom’s Christmas Feast table. And let’s not forget our treasured olive trees which are covered in tiny flowers. They have only been producing a crop for the last two years so My Fiefdomness is still on the pickling learning curve. But I will master it!

Apple trees Orchard
Olive trees

Ah, Spring. Yes, we love it here in CHASING BOOK SALES LAND.


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Once in a rare while, when petitions have banked to a degree that I can no longer ignore them, I’ll hold a Petition Day where all the inhabitants who have something they wish to discuss with me can come to the palace and gain an audience.

On this particular morning I was busy trying to get to the bottom of my in-box before Petition Time when I heard a loud bang. Not concerned, because sometimes the roof likes to herald its presence by making annoying noises, I continued with the correspondence.

Imagine my horror, then, when peering out at the queue forming to see me I spied one of my subjects in extremis on the palace window ledge.

It looked like Little Spoggy had tried to beat the crowds into the palace only to find what she thought was the entrance barred by an invisible barrier—glass.

I rushed outside and to my relief found her still breathing although her eyes were closed, her mouth open and her heart beating as though it would burst from her chest.

I stroked her little chest to calm her and tried dripfeeding her some water after which The Consort led me away to grieve as he predicted she would not recover.

Imagine my joy then, when an hour later I returned to collect her fragile little body for burial and found her sitting. Another hour later she had recovered sufficiently to fly home.

I hastened to ask what it was she had come to petition me for but she said she had such a headache it had flown right out of her head.

Egbert, on the other hand, was granted his request.

Recent rains have brought about a second flush of new rosehips and I consented to not net them.

I was so upset about Little Spoggy in extremis I felt it not appropriate to capture her image. Egbert, on the other hand, is always happy to pose.

Egbert posing


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We have been receiving communiqués querying where lies this little Fiefdom of Chasing Book Sales Land.

It’s a minor fiefdom abutting The Consort’s petty fiefdom of Why don’t you give it away land.

Both are within the borders of the minor kingdom of The Bush Capital, which itself sits within the realm of New South Wales.

It is part of the mighty island nation of Australia that occupies a great swathe of the southern regions.

A long and perilous journey is required to reach its shores but if you ever undertake the arduous trip and travel on to Chasing Book Sales Land you will receive a warm welcome from its inhabitants.

Please note that gifts for My Fiefdomness are customary.

Where lies Chasing book sales land?


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It’s a sad day in Chasing book sales land.

We have lost one of our favourite citizens.

The Consort found Frank the Legless Lizard at the bottom of the palace’s outdoor swimming pool this morning. The Consort was quick to scoop Frank out but felt he was past mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and CPR.

Lolly Legless Lizard

The Consort and I have our suspicions as to the culprit, but without evidence or witnesses we must remain silent and impartial.

Our suspicions turned immediately in Lolly Lizard’s direction.

Why? Because in the past weeks The Fiefdom has been preparing to honour My Fiefdomness with a lifetime literature award in recognition of the wealth my published endeavours have brought to The Fiefdom.

And because Frank was rather special, as well as being a favourite, The Consort thought he was the perfect choice to present the award.

Why was Frank special? Well, because he was a legless lizard and the only one in Chasing books sales land. He has cousins further afield but collectively they are an endangered species. Lolly had objected initially but withdrew it after Egbert the Rosella voiced the opinion that Frank was the most appropriate choice.

When we spied Lolly in the garden later in the morning we felt he had a very satisfied look in his eye.

Lolly Lizard

The Consort stepped in to do the honours at the award ceremony.

Rest in peace, Frank.