Tag Archives: Egbert Rosella

Petition Day in CHASING BOOK SALES LAND

August 16, 2014Chasing book sales landEgbert Rosella, Petition day, The Consort, The FiefdomAlana Woods

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Once in a rare while, when petitions have banked to a degree that I can no longer ignore them, I’ll hold a Petition Day where all the inhabitants who have something they wish to discuss with me can come to the palace and gain an audience.

On this particular morning I was busy trying to get to the bottom of my in-box before Petition Time when I heard a loud bang. Not concerned, because sometimes the roof likes to herald its presence by making annoying noises, I continued with the correspondence.

Imagine my horror, then, when peering out at the queue forming to see me I spied one of my subjects in extremis on the palace window ledge.

It looked like Little Spoggy had tried to beat the crowds into the palace only to find what she thought was the entrance barred by an invisible barrier—glass.

I rushed outside and to my relief found her still breathing although her eyes were closed, her mouth open and her heart beating as though it would burst from her chest.

I stroked her little chest to calm her and tried dripfeeding her some water after which The Consort led me away to grieve as he predicted she would not recover.

Imagine my joy then, when an hour later I returned to collect her fragile little body for burial and found her sitting. Another hour later she had recovered sufficiently to fly home.

I hastened to ask what it was she had come to petition me for but she said she had such a headache it had flown right out of her head.

Egbert, on the other hand, was granted his request.

Recent rains have brought about a second flush of new rosehips and I consented to not net them.

I was so upset about Little Spoggy in extremis I felt it not appropriate to capture her image. Egbert, on the other hand, is always happy to pose.

Foul play in CHASING BOOK SALES LAND

May 10, 2014Chasing book sales landEgbert Rosella, The Consort, The Fiefdom, The PalaceAlana Woods

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It’s a sad day in Chasing book sales land.

We have lost one of our favourite citizens.

The Consort found Frank the Legless Lizard at the bottom of the palace’s outdoor swimming pool this morning. The Consort was quick to scoop Frank out but felt he was past mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and CPR.

The Consort and I have our suspicions as to the culprit, but without evidence or witnesses we must remain silent and impartial.

Our suspicions turned immediately in Lolly Lizard’s direction.

Why? Because in the past weeks The Fiefdom has been preparing to honour My Fiefdomness with a lifetime literature award in recognition of the wealth my published endeavours have brought to The Fiefdom.

And because Frank was rather special, as well as being a favourite, The Consort thought he was the perfect choice to present the award.

Why was Frank special? Well, because he was a legless lizard and the only one in Chasing books sales land. He has cousins further afield but collectively they are an endangered species. Lolly had objected initially but withdrew it after Egbert the Rosella voiced the opinion that Frank was the most appropriate choice.

When we spied Lolly in the garden later in the morning we felt he had a very satisfied look in his eye.

The Consort stepped in to do the honours at the award ceremony.

Rest in peace, Frank.

Egbert Rosella of CHASING BOOK SALES LAND

April 12, 2014Chasing book sales landEgbert Rosella, Lavender, rosehips, The FiefdomAlana Woods

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I thought I’d take the opportunity to introduce you to Egbert Rosella, one of my most loyal subjects, because he’s been on my mind lately.

Hang on, I hear you say, in a past communiqué you indicated you were alone in Chasing book sales land.

Yes, forgive me, I did give that impression.

But, in fact, my tiny fiefdom is teeming with loyal subjects. This chap, Egbert, his better half, plus another pair, live in the hollows of a tree next door to the palace.

But loyal though they be, they’re not above making complaint when they feel it’s warranted.

They’re rather partial to the kitchen garden rosehips as they start to ripen in summer. But the yearly ripening usually coincides with the depletion of rosehip jam in the fiefdom’s larder. So to ensure supply the bushes are netted.

The little chaps do their best to overcome the obstacle. I’m a benevolent despot but I have been known to gesticulate rather wildly in my efforts to let them know I’m not at all pleased.

I don’t show favouritism of course, what benevolent despot worth their salt would? But I do have a soft spot for Egbert who has a touch more gumption than the rest of his family and mates.

I had to hide a smile this year when he appeared at the window and tapped with his beak to gain my attention: ‘Er, ahem, Your Fiefdomness, the rosehips, they appear to be netted.’

Admiring his pluck I pointed him in the direction of the lavender, because he and his family and mates are also very fond of that. They’ve been known to gorge themselves until they resemble little round balls!

So, yes, Chasing book sales land does have residents. Sadly for them none of them read, therefore none of them know what fine literature they’re missing out on by not reading Her Fiefdomness’ books.